What my birthday reminded me about creating a healthy lifestyle that actually lasts.
Last week, I celebrated another birthday, and it gave me a chance to reflect—not just on the past year, but on the habits that have shaped my life over the years.
Why? Because celebrations are usually surrounded by delicious food. And if you can’t enjoy a meal at your favorite restaurant or have the birthday cake you’ve been looking forward to on your birthday, then when can you?
So, of course I had cake. (A Limoncello cake from Tasty Pastry in Dyker Heights (IYKYK 😉 And the following week was my daughter’s birthday, so there was more cake. (And she picked what is probably my favorite cake, so far (I don’t usually like cakes too much…too dry), which was the Nutella mouse pie, also from Tasty Pastry.
Despite eating cake for several nights for dessert, I did not feel like I had to “go off the rails” because it was my birthday, and I didn’t feel the need to “get back on track” the next day either.
Why? Because healthy eating and movement aren’t things I only do when I’m motivated. They’re simply part of my everyday life.
But that wasn’t always the case.
It came from years of making small, consistent choices that gradually became habits. Over time, those habits became part of my identity.
Motivation Is Temporary. Identity Lasts.
Many women tell me they just need more motivation to lose weight, eat healthier, or exercise consistently.
The truth is, motivation comes and goes. So does willpower.
Life gets busy. Work is stressful. Kids have activities. Hormones fluctuate. Some days you simply don’t feel like making the healthy choice. We’ve all been there!
If your healthy habits depend on feeling motivated, they’ll likely disappear when the going gets tough.
So, maybe, instead of asking:
“What do I need to do?”
Try asking:
“Who do I want to become?”
Become the Woman You Want to Be
When you start thinking of yourself as someone who prioritizes her health, your daily choices begin to reflect that identity.
Instead of focusing on perfection, you focus on becoming.
Maybe that sounds like:
- I’m someone who nourishes my body with protein and veggies at least twice each day.
- I’m someone who gets stronger as I age.
- I’m someone who protects my heart health.
- I’m someone who keeps promises to myself.
- I’m someone who fuels my body with foods that help me feel my best.
Notice that none of these identities have anything to do with the number on the scale.
That’s because lasting health is about so much more than weight.
How to Build Healthy Habits in Perimenopause
If you’re wondering where to start, don’t try to change everything at once. The women who create lasting habits don’t wake up one day with endless motivation—they start with one small action they can repeat consistently.
Here are five ways to begin:
1. Decide who you want to become.
Forget the scale for a moment. We want to focus on behaviors surrounding your identity. Not an external measurement.
Instead, ask yourself:
“Who do I want to be one year from now?”
Maybe your answer is:
- A woman who has energy throughout the day.
- A woman who feels strong and confident.
- A woman who protects her heart and lowers her risk of diabetes.
- A woman who enjoys food without guilt.
Once you’re clear on that identity, your daily decisions become much easier.
2. Start with one habit—not ten.
Perimenopause is already a time of change. Trying to overhaul your entire lifestyle usually leads to burnout.
Choose one habit that feels almost too easy.
Examples:
- Eat 20-25 grams of protein at breakfast.
- Take a 15-minute walk after dinner.
- Add a vegetable to lunch.
- Go to bed 30 minutes earlier.
Master one habit before adding another.
3. Make your environment work for you.
Healthy habits are easier when your surroundings support them.
-Keep washed fruit and veggies where you can see it. (Researchers at the University of Houston found that participants ate significantly more apple slices and carrots when they were placed within easy reach and in a visible, clear bowl compared with when they were farther away or hidden in an opaque container.)
-Stock convenient sources of protein. (Tuna packets, tinned fish, edamame, low-fat cheese sticks, nuts)
-Lay out your workout clothes the night before. (Even better, sleep in ’em!)
-Small changes to your environment reduce the number of decisions you have to make each day.
4. Expect imperfect days.
One indulgent meal, one skipped workout, or one vacation doesn’t erase your progress.
My birthday reminded me of that. I enjoyed celebrating, but I didn’t feel like I had to “get back on track” the next day because healthy habits are already part of my lifestyle.
Consistency—not perfection—is what creates lasting change.
5. Celebrate the small wins.
Every healthy choice is evidence that you’re becoming the woman you want to be.
Don’t wait until you’ve lost the weight to celebrate.
Celebrate the breakfast you didn’t skip.
Celebrate choosing a walk over scrolling your phone.
Celebrate strength instead of striving for perfection.
Those small wins build confidence, and confidence helps create lasting habits.
Why This Matters Even More During Perimenopause
Perimenopause often brings unexpected changes—more cravings, less energy, changes in body composition, and a metabolism that doesn’t respond the way it used to.
It’s easy to become frustrated or think you’ve failed when progress feels slower.
But this stage of life isn’t about chasing perfection.
It’s about building habits that support your health for decades to come.
Every protein-rich breakfast, every strength-training session, every walk after dinner, every good night’s sleep—those are all votes for the person you’re becoming.
One choice may seem small.
Hundreds of those choices create a lifestyle.
A Simple Challenge for This Week
Finish this sentence:
I am someone who ____________.
Maybe it’s…
“I am someone who takes care of her heart.”
“I am someone who gets stronger and leaner with age.”
“I am someone who follows through on promises I make to myself.”
Then ask yourself:
What would that person do next?
The answer doesn’t have to be perfect.
It might be eating a balanced lunch, taking a 10-minute walk, or putting your phone away so you can get to bed a little earlier.
Those small choices matter more than you think.
The Bottom Line
Your birthday, a vacation, a holiday, or one indulgent meal doesn’t define your health.
Neither does one missed workout. What matters is the identity you’re building through the choices you make most days.
Don’t wait until you’re motivated. Become the woman who naturally takes care of herself. One small choice at a time.
Here’s to building habits that last,
Theresa
References:
Privitera GJ, Creary HE. Proximity and visibility of fruits and vegetables influence intake in a kitchen setting among college students. Environ Behav. 2013;45(7):876-886. doi:10.1177/0013916512442892